NFL Power Rankings After Week 4
After 4 weeks, here is what we know to be a fact: 2 teams are really good, 8 teams are pretty darn good, 12 teams are so-so, 8 teams suck, and 2 teams eat ass.
T1. Philadelphia Eagles (4-0)
The Eagles are unlike any other team we have ever seen this year as far as records go, except for the 49ers.
T1. San Francisco 49ers (4-0)
This 49ers team is the best team in the NFL and there isn’t a single other team that can say that, except for maybe the Eagles.
T3. Baltimore Ravens (3-1)
The Ravens have a winning percentage of 75% this season.
T3. Buffalo Bills (3-1)
The Bills lost their first game and have now won 3 straight. If they continue this pace, they will go 16-1 which is very good.
T3. Dallas Cowboys (3-1)
Dallas is a really good team right now. There’s nothing more we can really say.
T3. Detroit Lions (3-1)
The Lions are just fun! They are just a fun team.
T3. Kansas City Chiefs (3-1)
The Chiefs are still saying “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space” to all of the other NFL teams and we are here for it!
T3. Miami Dolphins (3-1)
The Dolphins are doin’ their thang!
T3. Seattle Seahawks (3-1)
This team sucks, but they actually might be great.
T3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1)
The Bucs have only lost one game this year, and there’s something to be said for that.
T11. Atlanta Falcons (2-2)
The Falcons are just so-so.
T11. Cleveland Browns (2-2)
This Browns team has won as many games as they have lost so far.
T11. Green Bay Packers (2-2)
This team is playing solid, we guess.
T11. Houston Texans (2-2)
The Texans are not total pieces of shit.
T11. Indianapolis Colts (2-2)
The Colts are okay.
T11. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2)
The Jags look alright.
T11. Los Angeles Chargers (2-2)
We really like this kid Herbert even though the rest of the Chargers are just okay.
T11. Los Angeles Rams (2-2)
Puka Nacua. Puka Nacua. Puka Nacua.
T11. New Orleans Saints (2-2)
The Saints are solid. They are a really solid team.
T11. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)
The Steelers are bad, but maybe the aren’t?
T11. Tennessee Titans (2-2)
We don’t know.
T11. Washington Commanders (2-2)
2-2 is not a bad record at this point in the season.
T23. Arizona Cardinals (1-3)
Okay, so the Cardinals do suck.
T23. Cincinnati Bengals (1-3)
This is not your younger brother’s Bengals. It’s more like your Uncle’s Bengals.
T23. Denver Broncos (1-3)
Fuck this team.
T23. Las Vegas Raiders (1-3)
The Raiders are technically a professional football team, which is a lot more than most football teams will ever be.
T23. Minnesota Vikings (1-3)
Kirk Cousins is trying his best.
T23. New England Patriots (1-3)
The Patriots lick sack.
T23. New York Giants (1-3)
The Giants are scum.
T23. New York Jets (1-3)
So dumb.
T31. Carolina Panthers (0-4)
The Panthers have not won a game yet this year.
T31. Chicago Bears (0-4)
This team sucks.