NFL Power Rankings After Week 3
After 3 weeks, here is what we know: 3 teams are really good, 14 teams are pretty good, 11 teams are pretty bad, and 4 teams suck balls.
T1. Miami Dolphins (3-0)
The 1972 Dolphins were also 3-0 at this point, and they ended up going undefeated.
T1. Philadelphia Eagles (3-0)
The Eagles have been perfect so far and they might just be perfect.
T1. San Francisco 49ers (3-0)
This team is tied for being the best team in the NFL and it’s not even close.
T4. Atlanta Falcons (2-1)
The Falcons were the best in the league last week but then they lost, so now we are questioning everything about them.
T4. Baltimore Ravens (2-1)
The Ravens were also the best team in the NFL just last week, but then they lost and now we have our doubts.
T4. Buffalo Bills (2-1)
The Bills have won 2 straight and are looking like a great team.
T4. Cleveland Browns (2-1)
This could be the year of the Browns.
T4. Dallas Cowboys (2-1)
The Cowboys lost to a bad team last week, so maybe the Cowboys are bad?
T4. Detroit Lions (2-1)
This is a fun team and we are just glad for them.
T4. Green Bay Packers (2-1)
Jordan Love might be—might be—the best quarterback in Green Bay Packer history if he keeps this up for another 15 years or so.
T4. Indianapolis Colts (2-1)
The Colts are 2-1? Huh?
T4. Kansas City Chiefs (2-1)
The Chiefs are saying “Shake It Off” and “Blank Space” to all of the other NFL teams and we are here for it!
T4. New Orleans Saints (2-1)
The Saints are solid. They are a really solid team.
T4. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1)
The Steelers are the 4th best team in the NFL is a statement that could actually be made by football people.
T4. Seattle Seahawks (2-1)
This team probably sucks, but they are actually quite good.
T4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1)
The Bucs have only lost one game this year, and there’s something to be said about that.
T4. Washington Commanders (2-1)
The Commanders still deserve our respect, right now, at this moment, while they still have a winning record.
T18. Arizona Cardinals (1-2)
The Cardinals are coming off a HUGE upset win, and maybe, just maybe, they are just a pretty bad team instead of really shitty team.
T18. Cincinnati Bengals (1-2)
This is not your younger brother’s Bengals.
T18. Houston Texans (1-2)
The Texans showed us something last week, from what we remember.
T18. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2)
The Jags looked like shit last week, from what we remember, oh wait—they played the Texans and lost.
T18. Las Vegas Raiders (1-2)
The Raiders are technically a professional football team, which is a lot more than most football teams will ever be.
T18. Los Angeles Chargers (1-2)
There’s something about this Chargers team—and the kid Herbert—that we really like still.
T18. Los Angeles Rams (1-2)
Puka Nacua. Puka Nacua. Puka Nacua.
T18. New England Patriots (1-2)
The Patriots might be back.
T18. New York Giants (1-2)
The Giants are trying their best.
T18. New York Jets (1-2)
The Jets look pretty bad under Zach Wilson, but they should give this kid a few more years to prove himself.
T18. Tennessee Titans (1-2)
This team blows and everyone knows it.
T29. Carolina Panthers (0-3)
The Panthers have not won a game yet this year.
T29. Chicago Bears (0-3)
This team is dumb.
T29. Denver Broncos (0-3)
Fuck this team.
T29. Minnesota Vikings (0-3)
Oh Kirk.