It’s finally here. And no I’m not talking about the all new Hushpuppy Breaded Fish Strips at Arby’s. I’m talking about Week 1 of the 2023 NFL season.

Hello sports fans! My name is Donnie Dumpster. I am the chief sports handicapper for The Sports Gutter and I am here to give you my FREE (yes, free) picks throughout the football season. I have been a professional sports handicapper for over 40 years and I live in a dumpster behind an Arby’s just outside of Reno, NV. Let’s kick things off with some Week 1 picks!

Jags (-5) at Colts

Pick: Colts +5

My diet consists almost entirely of scraps. A half eaten Classic Beef ‘N Cheddar here. A few leftover bites of a Smokehouse Brisket there. Maybe a few curly fries too, if I’m lucky. I see a lot of myself in this Colts team. Like me, they’ll do whatever it takes to survive. And by survive I mean lose by 4 points or less.

Cardinals at Redskins (-7)

Pick: Cardinals +7

This is one of those games where, as a professional handicapper, you look at it and you go “huh?” Then you just say “okay, I’ll take this team I guess” and then you hope.

Bucs at Vikings (-5.5)

Pick: Bucs +5.5

The Tampa Bay Bucs are loaded with talent. Derrick Brooks is their linebacker. Warren Sapp is their tackle. Ronde Barber is their cornerback. Jon Gruden is their coach. Mike Alstott is their fullback. I like the Bucs here.

Rams at Seahawks (-5)

Pick: Rams +5

Gene Smith is going to struggle against the Rams’ defensive line or something like that.

Dolphins at Chargers (-3)

Pick: Chargers -3

Working for The Sports Gutter has provided me with access to some of the sharpest minds in the world of Sports Journalism. When I ask these Journalists what they think of the Chargers, they all tell me that they like this kid Justin Hubert. They don’t really tell me why, but they seem to really like this Hubert kid. There’s just something about this kid, they tell me. Well, you know what? I think they’re right. I think there is something about this Hubert kid.